All Grown Up With Places To Go

Wow. That’s the kind of young lady I want my daughters to become.

Tonight I attended the Epoch Missions Gala — a black tie event put on to honor and celebrate missions-minded people who are doing God-sized ministry around the world. Over the course of a few hours, around 300 people mingled, enjoyed a fancy meal, and celebrated others in Academy Award fashion.

So what does this have to do with parenting?

One thing is all about the 400+ nominees for a half-dozen awards. These are men and women around the world who are working to make an impact in a way that God has equipped and prepared them to do. What would it look like if one of my daughters, in her early 20s told me she was going to spend months around the world doing some form of ministry?

The other thing is about the young ladies (many of whom are in their 20s) who helped make this evening possible. Mostly short- and medium-term missions veterans, they showed up with humble service to make this night special. What would it look like if my daughters, in their early 20s had the kind of emotional maturity and spiritual heart to serve and care for others regardless of any future accolades?

The humility and service mindset? Seems easy and attainable. Something I hope we’re able to help nurture. The idea of traveling around the world to do something crazy for God? Spiritually… no brainer. Practically… a bit concerning. After all, dangerous things happen around the world. And my baby girls need their daddy to keep them safe. Right?

But what is “safe,” really? Doing missions in a dangerous part of the world is, well, dangerous. But then again, isn’t it equally dangerous to not do missions in a safe part of the world? Of course, one may not get physically harmed. But she could be wasting her life. And from a spiritual perspective that is wreckless endangerment with eternal consequence.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)

I hope when my girls are all grown up, they’ve got places to go and God’s preparation to lead the way.

I just hope I have the humility and servant attitude to let them follow God wherever He may lead.

Jumping to Conclusions

I was tempted to punch a guy yesterday at the apple orchard. I know, I know… what on earth could happen at the apple orchard of all places, that would inspire someone to start swinging?

No troublesome kids on the playground.

No angry line-cutters striving to be the first to get their get cider donuts.

Not even a food fight with pick-your-own apples. (Though that could have been fun.)

It was an old guy in the bathroom.

So… long story made somewhat shorter…

My three year-old had to go to the bathroom. And my wife is just about 9 months pregnant. Needless to say, walking around isn’t the most comfortable for her, and cramming into a public bathroom stall to help a toddler take care of business isn’t the easiest thing to do at this stage either. Since we were a long walk away from the bathroom, I volunteered to take Rayna. No big deal, right?

Well – we were washing our hands, getting ready to head out and a little boy and his grandpa come walking in. The boy (probably 6 or 7 years old) says, “hey, this is the boys bathroom.” (Innocent observation.)

Then gramps mumbles to the kid, “I know, little girls should go to the bathroom with their mommies. That’s one of grandpa’s pet peeves.”  ((My blood pressure starts to escalate right about now.))

I think for a second and kindly say, “Well, since mom is 9 months pregnant, it’s a bit difficult for her, so I’m helping out.”

He replies, “Well, still, there are weenies around in here.” (No joke.)

I’m not sure how much time the old guy has spent in the bathroom, but my experience has shown that “weenies” aren’t exactly flailing around in danger of being spotted by my innocent daughter. But anyway…

I’m certain that there comes an age and stage where little girls shouldn’t accompany their dads into the men’s room to go to the bathroom. We may, in fact, be getting close to that stage even now. My gratitude is increasing for places that have a clue and are putting in family restrooms – perfect for situations like this. But that doesn’t change the fact that I was aggravated by this guy’s insulting comment. At least … it was insulting to me.

Did he have any clue what the situation was? Did he realize that I’m striving to be a noble father and help my daughter? What if I would have taken my girl out on a day with daddy and she had to go? Am I supposed to just let her go in the trees? I know folks who are single dads…what if that were the case for me?

So – I wanted to punch the guy because of his jumping to conclusions, perhaps assuming that mom was standing outside the door and I thought it would just be more fun to take a girl into the men’s room. But, again, striving to be the best guy I can be, we finished washing our hands and I said, “I hope you have a great day, sir.” (To which he responded, “Oh, I’m having a great time.”)

I’m thoroughly convinced there is little I can do to change someone else’s mind or perspective on something. Especially when they are so thoroughly convinced that they are right and everything else in the world is wrong. But I can take control over myself and my own attitude and approach.

So – bottom line for me is that I hope I never jump to conclusions like this guy did. He didn’t know our story; and, let’s be honest, most of the time I don’t know others’ stories either. I may think someone is crazy, doing something the wrong way, or, at best, acting a way that I would prefer they not.

But, in a lesson I’ll take from the lessons for three year-olds, I’ll keep my hands to myself and not punch the guy. I’ll try to worry about myself. And always learn a lesson. May I think about others and the dependency of their situation before jumping to conclusions.

But take note, men… if my kid needs to go to the bathroom and I’m around, we may be coming in. So do us all a favor and don’t wave your weenie around for all to see.